Brokenness

“And he went out and wept bitterly.”
‭‭Luke‬ ‭22‬:‭62‬ ‭ESV‬‬

The last couple of months has more than anything become about brokenness in my life, I feel so broken, I have been trying so hard to fix my problems that I guess this is the point I’ve had to get to. I had to become so broken like Peter when he denied Jesus that only Jesus could restore me, fix me, provide for my needs, He needed to take me to a place of complete reliance on Him and His provision. I am waiting for an open door, I don’t know what it looks like or when it will open, what I do know is that in God’s timing it will open and I will see it. God is using this time for me to find joy in Him and His provision, I don’t just want God to give me what I ask for but for Him to provide that door for me. The last couple of weeks I have been taken from what I thought was relying on Jesus to an even more broken place, I think in a sense it is like what I have been told recruits experience at basic training, they are broken of what they thought they were and built up into something so much stronger and better than they could ever imagine. We see this same sort of thing in how Jesus was training the disciples and in particular Peter.

Peter had to come to a place of complete brokenness before he could be used by Jesus. This is the place where we see that “weeping is but for a night, but joy comes in the morning”. Ps 30:5b Peter spent a could of days in sure renewing what Jesus had said about denying Him, what I don’t think Peter understood and as that his boldness would be in his own flesh, he needed to come to a place of complete reliance on Jesus. “Then Simon Peter, having a sword, drew it and struck the high priest’s servant and cut off his right ear. (The servant’s name was Malchus.) So Jesus said to Peter, “Put your sword into its sheath; shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me?””
‭‭John‬ ‭18‬:‭10‬-‭11‬ ‭ESV‬‬
Peter here reacts according to his own flesh, I’m sure I would have done the same thing, you see your Rabbi being arrested and Peter in his boldness also had just come from a place of telling Jesus he wouldn’t deny Him, this is an understandable reaction considering he had even told Jesus, He shouldn’t go the the cross and Jesus rebuked him then, however, again, this time Peter is still reacting in the flesh. After all of this went down we begin to see the beginnings of the breaking of Peter, the fire, and he first denial, the second, and then with a finality one of the relatives who was with the mob when they arrested Jesus called Him out, Peter denied Jesus, realizing what he had done he wept bitterly. (He was broken)

Here is the great part if about this, on the day that Jesus rose from the grave we see Gods merciful grace from when the Angel tells Mary to go get Peter this is the amazing grace of our Lord and Peter even understanding that grace “and both of them running together” John 20:4 Peter knew of the Lords grace already just from having spent three or so years with Jesus, he knew of Jesus’ love, His grace, His mercy. Now comes Peters restoration John 21:15-19 This is where we see Jesus restore Peter to His service and not of his (Peter’s) flesh, Jesus found Peter exactly where He knew He would Peter returning to his old ways, fishing. Jesus still had to do some work in Peter, who I’m sure was feeling pretty low at this point. Jesus asks him a few questions, and it is at this point that Peter finally get’s what it means to be completely reliant on Jesus. We see that from this point on Peter pretty much does everything in following after Jesus and not by His strength, Jesus even tells Peter that he is going to go where he does not want to signaling his death.

What does this mean for us? Well I cannot tell you what it means for you but I can say I know what it means for me…God had to take me to a place of complete brokenness a place where I’ve had to completely rely on Him and His saving grace to get me and my family through this situation we are in. I am still very much trusting in God’s grace and waiting on Jesus to restore me, in many ways I am seeking Him so much deeper than I ever have, I am having to trust Him for everything, I have nothing to give, I bring nothing to the table other than my trust. It is not easy and yet I am completely reminded that the Battle Belongs to the Lord 2 Chronicles 20:15 And he said, “Listen, all Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem and King Jehoshaphat: Thus says the Lord to you, ‘Do not be afraid and do no the dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but Gods

What are you doing?

 I know that these are super inconsistent with being posted. I try to post as often as I can. 

I got this email a few weeks ago it is from Spurgeon. As I think about life and often wonder what God has for me, this quote is what comes to mind. 

 "The first sign of the heavenly call is an intense, all-absorbing desire for the work. If any student in this room could be content to be a newspaper editor, or a grocer, or a farmer, or a doctor, or a lawyer, or a senator, or a king, in the name of heaven and earth let him go his way; he is not the man in whom dwells the Spirit of God in its fullness, for a man so filled with God would utterly weary of any pursuit but that for which his inmost soul pants. If on the other hand, you can say that for all the wealth of both the Indies you could not and dare not espouse any other calling so as to be put aside from preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ, then, depend upon it, if other things be equally satisfactory, you have the signs of this apostleship."

I can say without a doubt that there are a number of jobs/careers I could do, none of them will fulfill me in the same way that my calling will, there is not enough money in the world to make me want to do anything else. I have known for nearly 25 years what I want to do, I will be patient until God opens that door. God has often called us to be fruitful where we are planted and I believe that is something we are supposed to do and be faithful to where God has planted us. So in reality it is just like the Apostle Paul writes below, serve where you're planted, when God is ready to make a change He will

 1 Corinthians 7:17; Only let each person lead the life[fn] that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.

There are many gifts in the body, some people are called to many different things, each gift is a blessing it is what makes the body of Christ unique. 1 Corinthians 12:12, 28-31; Ephesians 4:11-13

 

Be faithful to where God has planted you, God in His grace and mercy is preparing you to serve in His kingdom.

 

Blessings,

Nick

Sermon Notes Exodus 13:17-22

 Happy Thursday! 

I wanted to share my notes from my sermon from last night. I hope this blesses you as much as I blesses me. The book of Exodus is full of examples of having to trust God for guidance. What we have to learn is that while the Israelite's after leaving Egypt had the pillar of smoke during the day and the pillar of fire at night to follow. We don't have that same thing, we have the Holy Spirit, we have Gods word. Please reach out if you have any questions.

Exodus 13:17-22

 

I.                 Following God story; God will often call us to Step out in faith, to do that we have to learn to follow God, He’ll have your back! The whole book of Exodus has one central theme, as God’s people we need to follow after God. He will lead us, He will take care of us, He will be our guide. He will allow us to go through things that are uncomfortable to bring us to a place of complete reliance on Him. This evening we’re going to learn how God leads us, why He will sometimes take us the long route to get where we need to be.

II.                v. 17-18 God lead them away from the Philistines the long route.

a.      Why?

1.      Lest the people change their minds.

a.      Israel was not ready for war, having just left Egypt, and witnessing the power of God as He freed them as slaves, the Hebrews had some growing they had to do, they had to learn that their God would sustain them regardless of what seemed like would be a giant task.

b.       How do we know the Jews didn’t have that moxie, that grit that they would need to be able to go into battle, most importantly would be willing to rely on God to save them? Even though God had brought them out of Egypt with such power, they still were not ready for war. Let’s look ahead a little bit turn one chapter ahead to chapter 14 verses 11 (read or have one of the kids read) can see that they were not ready with a preview of the Red Sea, the spies that went to check out the land. (Deuteronomy 1:27) Looking ahead to the battles to come. The spies who went into the land of milk and honey, but they also saw giants. When they came out, they whined again about how God brought them out of Egypt to just kill them???

2.      Towards the Red Sea. The Long way.

a.      God sometimes will take us the long way, 2 reasons

1.      He has something He wants to teach us. God wants us to grow in something most importantly He wants us to grow closer to Him.

a.      Wouldn’t it be nice if life was a straight line? You really think so? But we know that It’s not. When you’re hiking on a trail is the trail ever straight? No? Right? It is always crooked, and if you’re going up a mountain it has switch backs, pop-outs, and really hard parts. But the end result when you get to the top is pretty amazing. Think about the  best view you’ve ever witnessed to get there was pretty rough, I know some of you maybe haven’t experienced it…yet, so think about a hard time or something hard that you accomplished and when you finally got your reward that you earned you knew that it was worth the work.

2.      The reason that God wants us  to grow closer to Him is so that He will get the glory not us. Have you ever felt like you were at the end of your rope and you had nothing left to hold on to? I can tell you that I’ve been there. There are times in my life especially when I was a teen living on my own that I didn’t know how I was going to accomplish something. And boom out of nowhere it was taken care of. The only explanation was God took care of what was going on, the only thing that I could do was to give Him the glory. You may in your life have something going on right now at school, or home, or your job, that it seems like you have no control over. I can tell you without a doubt that God is in control. Letter from Jesus

III.              v. 19 this is a fulfillment of God’s promise to save His people from Egypt.

a.      Another proof of the fulfillment of God’s promise to not leave the Jews in Egypt, even so much so that the bones of Joseph were not left there. So, looking at this here we can see that no one was left behind not even Joseph.

IV.              v. 20-22

a.      Etham was on the edge of the wilderness and one step closer to the Red Sea. the Hebrews are finally leaving Egypt getting out of dodge,

b.      What is the purpose of the fire and the smoke? There is a special reason that we’re going to learn here. The simple answer is that so the Israelite's have something to follow, I mean you because they just up until recently they were slaves but now they leave Egypt and don’t have any sense of direction, so we know the fire and smoke gave them something to look for, something to follow but there is a deeper meaning too, something that is for us.

1. Now we don’t have a pillar of fire or even a cloud of smoke to follow but God has given us some things that we can use to follow so we know that we’re heading in the right direction.  There are a lot of other influences in our lives today. Things that are trying to get us to follow what they are saying.

1.      His word. (“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet”. Psalms 119:105) Turn with me to        1 Tim. 3:16-17

2.      The Holy Spirit (Pentecost) John 16:7-8

a.      How do we know what we’re hearing is from the Holy Spirit is real? By knowing what God’s word says. God will never contradict His word. This is why it’s so important to know God’s word, to ready it and know what it says, to be a student of it

3.      Others (Paul follow me as I follow Christ) There is a challenge with this one because we are human which is why we need to be grounded in God’s word. If that person we’re following isn’t following Christ we’re going to know.

a.      I need all of you to remember there are a lot of influences in your lives today what are some of those? Is it social media, Netflix, twitter, your friends, or where ever you get your news. Those aren’t necessarily bad things but, you need to be wise about that stuff and run it through the lens of the Bible Gods word. We have a lot of noise and it’s easy to get caught up in things that will draw you away from Jesus. They aren’t blatant either usually it will seem like things that might be good but as you begin to dig deeper you need to be aware that it’s drawing you away from Christ and getting you to take your eyes of the fire and smoke.

5 months too long

OK so it has been 5 months and the few of you that still check on my blog are so faithful I am stoked to know that you still find some value in those words of a broken man. I will say this these last few months have been really like a new beginning for me well actually the last couple of weeks. You see I was not very humble and the Lord decided to break me of that pride that I had in myself I thought that if I was good enough that I could accomplish whatever was put before me. And secondly that pride had caused me to place my faith in the wrong thing. I was in the sin of pride and making sacrifices to God that were not what He was wanting.

Psalm 51
16 For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
17The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. (esv)

As I spent a week working in Hawaii these verses were running in my mind and as I dealt with being broken I had such a Joy that I cannot even begin to describe what I felt. When someone realizes that they have placed there hope in... and not in Christ, whatever happens to you will not go as planned, it really matters what happens because your hope is in the wrong thing. When we place our hope in the One who has called us and not in... it will not matter what happens. Because our hope is in the One who NEVER fails.

Matt 6:33
Seek First the Kingdom of God and its Righteousness and all these things Shall Be Added unto you. (emphasis added)(esv)